Step 1: Identifying who has your remote control?

Working as a coach over the past few years, I have lost count of the number of times I have clients coming to me saying, “My spouse/child/parent/sibling makes me so angry,” or “Situation at work is so bad that I no longer want to go back to work. Work is causing me so much stress.” These are just two examples of what the different conversations that occur on a regular basis in a coaching session.

What stands out in these conversations is that an external factor is creating or triggering an emotional response in a person. Looking at the person seated in front of me, I see a person who has allowed, usually unconsciously, their emotional responses to be triggered by external factors. Listening to them felt almost like someone was holding a remote control of their emotional responses – it’s almost like someone pressed a button that said, “happy” and the person become happy or “angry” and the person became angry.

Sounds familiar? How often have you continued to allow others to hold on to the remote and trigger a negative emotion instead of saying “I’m in-charge of my emotions. I choose how I will react or respond to a situation.”

Exercise 1:

  1. List the emotions that prevent you from living a productive life.

  2. List the situations where these emotions usually occur.

  3. List the people that “push your emotional buttons”.