When I first started studying Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), one of the first books I was introduced to was of Richard Bandler, one of the experts in this field. In his book, Get the Life You Want, he had written in the simplest form how we can remove negative thought patterns and live a meaningful life. For a newbie in this field, I was sceptical and now with many years of practice and working with my clients, I’ve understood that healing while it takes time, doesn’t need to be a difficult process.
Let me share one of my favourite techniques that he devised for us to get over something negative a person may have said to us in the past that is impacting us today, many years later. This method works on a simple principle - voices we trust and voices we don’t.
Think back to some of the many things you’ve stored in your memory and believe to be true even when there is no objective evidence to suggest that it is true. For example, you might have a stored memory of you being good at time management because your teacher at school had praised you many times for that. You liked that teacher and you trusted that teacher. So you treasured those words.
Let’s say someone you dislike, distrust or hold in low regard comes along some time later and criticises you for your time management, you may just brush it off and ignore this person’s opinion and forget about it.
So essentially what Bandler was saying is that the voices in our head (for both positive and negative messages) are voices of people whom we look up to or trust (at the point that the message was being said).
I can almost hear you saying, “easier said than done” and you’re not wrong. If we can so easily replace the voices in our heads, why would we have so many troubled people trudging through life?
As a Coach, I work with you to Disrupt the Pattern that you’ve put on auto-play mode in 4-steps.
Identify the strong negative message that is playing in your head
Identify someone you have low regard for their opinions and tell you a lie and break down the properties of their voice and how they speak - the tone, volume, and timbre of voice.
Recognise the characteristics of how this person tells a lie as vividly as you can.
Replace the negative message you’ve been playing in your head with this voice that tells you lies.
No, it is not mumbo jumbo, rather, it’s the rewiring of our cognitive processes. With the right coaching or right coach, you can Reclaim the Voices in your Head. Book a free 45-minute coaching session now!